You know, it's a rare occurence when you hear a band so bad that you want to blow your nuts off with a shotgun just to prevent some poor unborn child from being exposed to something so heinous. Well people, today I heard such a band. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I was reclining in my rather comfortable chair this morning, watching a bit of Rage on the telly when JTV popped on. First chord strummed I knew I was in for some ear rapage, but I had no idea just how badly one's ears could be violated.
Let's focus on the singing. I liken Ms. O's vocals to a druggie hopped up on the crack cocaine mixed with the combined effects of several hundred thousand cigarettes. Add this to the vocal chord killing action of gargling drano and razor blades and we have a singing style akin to this joker. A little hint Karen, learn to sing before singing. It helps, trust me. Karen you should also get your ears checked, singing out of key ain't cool baby. Know what I'm saying? I've heard cats being raped, while being stuck out in the rain that are more aurally appealing than this loser. I'm deadly serious people, Karen O doesn't sing, she sucks.
Want to check out the guitarist? Don't bother. He's just as bad as Karen. I reckon you could plug a guitar into an amp, turn the volume all the way up and slap on some distortion, then drop it from the top of a rather tall building and the resulting cacophony would be far more musical. IT'S THAT BAD. This guy jumps around the stage like a dude having an epileptic fit, strumming his guitar like a moron (so does Karen by the way). Are you serious? Get off the bong buddy, will reck your head. The bass player is just as bad. The concept of tuning seems to have evaded this guy. No joke, I was ramming my head into the wall trying to deal with the dissonance. Quite terrible. To be fair though, the whole band was out of tune. I wonder what the backstage conversation was like before the show? "Hey dudes, let's forget the whole tuning thang. We're pro." Actually you're not.
The drummer is just as bad as the rest of the band and I only have one thing to say to him. "Time ain't a magazine. Get a metronome."
All in all, I don't see how these jokers can take themselves seriously. Maybe someone should show them a video of one of their shows. Might knock some sense into them. Man, how did these guys get signed? I think I have the answer. Young, influential punks wanting to seem different and hip to the whole alternative scene buy this sort of crap. Keen to take advantage of this, record companies sign only the crappest bands out there. And voila, we have bands like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
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7 comments:
You are awesome. ^-^ I swear I read that post on your last.fm thing, though.
I saw them on SNL, thought it was only my opinion. Nice to know someone else feels about 'Yeah Yeah Yeahs' the way I do. Although, i disagree, i don't think they're on M.J. Bong, they might have switched their diet to Salvia only, hence their illusion that they somehow nuPunk and 'too cool for tune'. Someone should get fired for singing them.
Brilliant! i couldn't have said it better myself.
I feel this way about Arcade Fire and My Morning Jacket
Their songs are capable of killing people.
All these years later and they STILL SUCK!! Only band I've ever walked out on.
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