My Interview With Greenday

Today I have with me Green Day. Let's get started.

Jonno - Well hello... ah... this is kind of embarrassing but I don't know any of your names.

Green Day - Really? Are we that shit and unknown?

Jonno - Yes.

Green Day - Ahahaha, well it comes as no surprise, I mean our fan base consists of 12 year old girls.

Jonno - Well, why don't we introduce ourselves.

Billy Joe - Well I'm Billy Joe but my mates call me fink.

Jonno - So I take it no one calls you fink.

Billy Joe - That's right.

Jonno - Moving on.

Mike - I'm Mike.

Jonno - Hi Mike.

Tre Cool - I'm Tre Cool.

Jonno - You don't actually call yourself that do you?

Tre - Actually I do, I'm pretty sick aye.

Jonno - No, you're not. So let's get down to business. How did you guys meet? Have you known each other long?

Mike - I believe I can answer that one Jonno. Some record exec was putting together a hot new band and he needed three hot, sexy young men to do the job. I got a phone call and was told to meet at the studio. There I met these two and the studio musicians who would be playing all the music.

Jonno - Only one problem with that, you're not hot, sexy or a man.

Mike - Yeah, I said the same thing.

Jonno - You say studio musicians were going to play all the music originally. I don't get it. If studio musicians were going to play all your music, how come you suck? I mean, studio players know their shit.

Billy Joe - Well originally studio dudes...

Jonno - Don't say dude...

Billy Joe - Sorry. Originally studio musicians were going to play but we managed to convince the execs other wise.

Jonno - Oh riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Well that explains your sound. On the topic of your sound, how would you describe it?

Tre - If I may. It's a blend of post modern grunge/grind punk pop with heavy emo overtones and........

Billy Joe - .....What Tre is trying to say is that we sound like a cat being raped by a dog under some water.

Jonno - I surmised as much. Moving on, what's the deal with your latest album 'American Idiot'.

Mike - Well, our record company wanted sales so they suggested we create.....

Jonno - You mean some one else creates....

Mike - Yeah, someone else creates an album to fully take advantage of the crisis in the middle east and how everyone hates America.

Jonno - So it was designed only to sell?

Mike - Yeah.

Jonno - And what do you mean everyone hates America? America is one kick arse place. It's only Georgie Boy who blows.

Mike - WHAT. King George is the best thing that happened to this country.

Jonno - You're kind of contradicting yourself there. You release an album that aims to dismantle to Bush administration, then you profess a deep admiration of the man.

Mike - Well like I said earlier, we had no input...

Tre - Yeah, we were told that we were just a vehicle on which it could be sold.

Jonno - Well that clears that up.

Jonno - Tell me, who are your musical influences?

Mike - The bassist from Simple Plan

Jonno - What? No Jaco Pastorius?

Mike - Who the hell is that?

Billy - The guy from Metallica?

Jonno - No

Tre - I like that guy from Good Charlotte

Jonno - But they blow even more than you. That's not a complement by the way.

Green Day - Awwwwwwwwwww

Jonno - Yeah. Uh, what about you Billy Joe? Who has influenced you?

Billy Joe - That singer from Simple Plan. He's hot.

Jonno - Right. What do you guys have planned for the future? Any chance of calling it quits?

Tre - Nah, our contract states that we have another 20 albums to release before it's terminated, so I guess you'll be hearing alot more from us.

Mike & Billy - Yeah.

Jonno - Not likely. Well I'm gonna have to call an end to this interview, I have some business to attend to.

Green Day - Oh yeah, and that is?

Jonno - Going down to the lobby to read the magazines while I wait for my taxi, speaking of which, it's due at 4:00pm.

Mike - But it's only 11:30am.

Jonno - Yeah.